Obedience

Written on 6/21

Convicted as I was on Sunday, I decidedly went to drown my thought process at the pool after church. But it's what happened before the pool that should be told. Lets back up. What I felt in church that day was a sort of beautiful recognition of a loss I had been walking through. It hit me immediately. The past couple of weeks have been filled with hints of truth, but lacking in obedience. If I am speaking freely, I have been tired and annoyed and simple-minded. These that call me away from my First Love. How could this have happened?

At church that day I felt the the Holy Spirit calling me to obedience and prayer, of vigilance and watchfulness. Such things that are necessary for every Christ-follower, these things that were seemingly lacking from me recently. What's more, every Thursday, the church has a time for seekers to come forth and pray and worship He that is worthy. I had not been in over a month. Maybe two? I had lost count. Although I knew I was missing out on receiving God, that which I chose deliberately to do. And God meets individuals where they are on Thursdays at that old garage-of-a-building. That building which is old, and rigid (if a building could be rigid), sweltering and unattractive. God loves it there. And I love meeting God there. And it was as though God was whispering to me, I am here waiting for you. Take me. Why don't you take me? Thursdays are now reserved for God at One Fellowship (http://www.onefellowshipchurch.com/).

And its a beautiful thing when one finds himself convicted. When the voice of God breaks through the deafness and man discovers how hopeless he truly is without God. Because it is then that God is whispering, Finally beloved. Finally you can hear me. How I've missed you, come Follow Me.

And its beautiful and tragic, but not lonely, because God's presence can be felt so strongly by the convicted man's heart that his mind ought to think nothing else should matter for the rest of his life, nothing but remedying this separation from God.

And I knew if I went to the pool that day that His presence would soon cease, and the feeling wouldn't permeate the way it did when it was necessary. So rather than spend time with God while He was near, I went to the pool for simple-minded entertainment, leaving more disappointed in myself than I had been all day.

Because, see, I have a sort of theory, that in order to feel oneness with God in His presence, walls must be torn down or removed. It is then we can hear He that desires us most audibly. Every time, there are walls that must be torn down. And it's very hard to do that when surrounded by others who are not experiencing oneness with God. This is because, coincidently they aid in laying the bricks on the walls permitting separation. And even their own personal walls can block God's voice and presence from others.

I knew that's what I would be doing by going to the pool that afternoon. And I went anyway.

How I wish I had not gone, and went home to spend time with God. What would he have taught me that day?

Well, I think he taught me exactly what I needed, what He had planned.

I believe that the stronger a man's desire for a thing, his obedience for it will consequently be able to deliver him or break down walls that couldn't otherwise be broken. That is what faith is all about. And that is the importance of obedience.