lately.

I have learned what it is to be still, reflect, and listen to God in between the distorted thoughts. Yes, this I have learned but now I must do it and keep it part of routine. That’s the biggest part of my battle. How can I expect for God to grant me wisdom and discernment when I am not meeting him where I am able? Who do I think I am? So here, the cry of my heart remains to become sanctified and remain in the light, to be a light even, and to take every thought captive for the righteousness of my Savior to set free.

I gave up restaurants for lent. No, I’m not catholic. But I am Christian, and I believe in feeling desperate for God in times of sacrifice in order to strengthen the desire and relationship through and for Jesus Christ. I don’t remember when lent began. All I know is that I was 2 days late, but as we all know, better to be late than to not be at all. So why restaurants? Well, anyone who knows me knows that I love to eat. I love greasy, fattening, disgusting foods that no one should enjoy quite like I do. I used to eat out more than anyone I know. What better way to show god my sacrifice than with something I would actively miss, everyday?

But the most wonderful part is, I haven’t missed it as much as I feared I would. While there have been a few moments of desperation, the Lord my God hath sustained me, just as he always does.

So one thing God has shown me recently are the things I want to become. It’s like He’s letting me peek a little more in to my self, as His bride, slowly and gently so that I may understand.

I know that I want to be a woman that a man of God would want. Now that may sound simple, and perhaps it is, but it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve truly realized what it means to me and for my life. It means selfless sacrifice for the acceptance of love so that the grace and mercy of God can save my life by the blood of Jesus Christ. Oh, how he loves us.